I think every person has moments when they have to sit back and wonder "what's next?" - I've been doing this "Just Jay Dance" thing for a few years now and as each year goes on I learn more and more about business / people / money and most of all communication within the industry.
It is such a creative and wonderful industry to be in but also has this nasty vile side which I have never liked. The side where people let you down, use your skills for their own personal gain, people that become "power heads" and clearly forget where they came from. I always like to sit and think about the performances I've done to 15 people and classes I've ran where no one turned up - because it helps me reflect on how far I've come. How many times I've cried myself to sleep because I genuinely had no idea how I was going to pay my rent or stock up the fridge. The hours and hours of trying to create choreography which only one person would learn! I will never forget where this started "this journey" and I hope I continue to grow - create - learn and live to my fullest.
One thing I've noticed over the years is that people are very quick to blame - very quick to point the finger of the failures and the problems of others and even quick to blame people for the reason their own lives are empty and brittle. But I've learnt you really do have only yourself to blame. You can't take all the credit for the good and positive and then dismiss the failings because it's not what you want to admit! But unfortunately you have too! You have to go "Yes I messed up, I did that - I completely lost my way, lost track, fell down and that was MY fault" - the important part is picking yourself BACK up and saying "but now I'm stronger than ever and I won't be doing THAT again.....I hope"
Jay x